Congratulations! You’ve decided to adopt a dog! You’re visiting the shelter to find just the right one. You roam the halls, inspecting the rows of adorably adorable shelter dogs, waiting silently behind their kennel doors.

Suddenly, you spot the PERFECT DOG. You make eye contact. Could this be it? Is this the one? He’s sitting there, calmly and quietly watching you approach with worship already shining in his eyes. You’re both falling in love at first sight. This IS it! This IS the one! You both know it. He runs up to you as you get closer and leaps into your arms, covers you with kisses and nuzzles into your neck to show he already loves and trusts you implicitly and wants to go home with you right away to start your new life together. You sign on the dotted line and take your new friend home where he is perfectly behaved out of love and gratitude that you’ve chosen him and given him a second chance. You did it! You saved a life and found a forever friend! You both live happily ever after!

Yeah, no. That’s about as likely to happen as someone admitting they’re wrong on the internet. Sorry to bring you out of that daydream, but we gotta. You have to be realistic.

Ever wonder why some shelter dogs seem withdrawn, pace frantically, or bark excessively? Freaked out when you visit a shelter dog and it’s snarling and telling you off from behind bars? It’s not their fault! Shelter life, with its confining kennels, constant barrage of sights and sounds, and strange people walking by all day overwhelms many dogs, leading to stress and anxiety known as Kennel Stress. These behaviors don’t reflect their true personalities – they’re simply coping mechanisms. Some have been brought here due to abandonment by those they loved and trusted the most. Some have been lost and living on their own, trying to survive in a hostile world before being scooped up and placed in a kennel. Some have lost their people through no fault of their own and they’re confused, sad, and scared. Some were born into this environment and it’s all they’ve ever known. Regardless, they each have a story and a fairy tale meet-cute isn’t likely a part of that story.

When you visit a shelter, do so with empathy. Approach slowly, speak softly, offer treats, and respect boundaries to build trust. Let the dog initiate contact – a wagging tail or a playful nudge is a much better indicator of their true personality than all that frenzied barking from behind bars. If you are looking to adopt, come in with realistic expectations. Above all, GIVE IT TIME!

Plan to visit the dog you are interested in outside of their kennel. We can make an appointment for you and set you up in a private visiting room or play yard. Try to spend some real time visiting, if at all possible. After all, this is a big decision. You are not choosing a new shower curtain, you’re looking for a living being that will share your life for many years. It’s not realistic to “pop in” on your lunch break and think that you will be able to get a real sense of a dog in that limited time. Taking them out of the stressful environment of their kennel and giving them adequate time to relax a little will give you a much better idea of the true gem underneath.

When you do find the right one for you, be patient when you get them home. That’s when the real work begins. They will need your love and patience even more after that. Most people think that the hard part is over and now the pup can relax and enjoy their newfound freedom. In reality, it can take as much as three months before your dog will truly feel safe and secure in his new home. Sometimes, it can take even longer. Your patience will pay off, however, if you come into the situation with realistic expectations, patience, and understanding. It’s work, we’re not going to lie, but we’re here to support you through it and on the other side you will have a loving and lifelong companion that will make all that hard work worth it.

By tempering expectations, understanding kennel stress, and putting in the work after adoption, you can help these hidden gems blossom in their new forever homes. Look beyond the bark, see beyond the kennel, and offer them the love and support they deserve!

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If you’re struggling to find just the right pet for you, your family, and your situation, or if you need assistance helping your new pet adjust to life at home, outside of the kennel, let us help! Email us at shelter@skagithumane.org with details. More resources are available here on our website as well.